


Void of Life

by TheMissluluB



Series: Horuss's Void [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Past Rufioh/Horuss, Pesterlog, but not all pesterlog, still sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 15:17:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11557905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMissluluB/pseuds/TheMissluluB
Summary: Your name is Horuss Zahhak and you’ve just realised you've made a terrible mistake.





	Void of Life

**Author's Note:**

> *Banging pots and pans* I!! CAN'T!! STOP!! WRITING!! HORUSS!! SADSTUCK!!
> 
> ((This might be confusing if you haven't read part one, whoops))

You were wrong. So incredibly wrong that you have to find more ways to describe how wrong you were. Stupid wrong naive Horuss.

You can’t live on your own. You can barely function alone. You barely remember to eat and drink correctly. You. You barely remember to Troll. You’ve never been truly by yourself, not really. You have always had someone there. Be it your lusus or a neighbour. You could never do it. Ever.

And now you have to deal with the repercussions of that. The repercussions of your impulse to live on your own. On a mountain, with no person and no hive in sight. You taught yourself how to cook, but your requirements are not suited to the area. You’re a vegetarian. And it’s not like you can digest grass (no matter how much you tried). You sniff up another attempt to sob, you’re pretty much cried out at this point.

A week or so ago you had found a nice cave. It’s a place too lowly of your class but you have nowhere else to go. So you decided that is where you are living. You had built yourself a make-shift ‘coon, alongside a few other basic requirements you need. You are struggling with one base thing you absolutely need.

Water.

You had found a quick way of getting to the beach below for water. However. Every machine you have made has failed to separate the salt from the water. This is bad. You know you can’t last without water, and your milk supply will only last so long. You don’t know what to do.

This is so, so bad.

You can’t go back, you CAN’T. They’ll laugh at you. ‘Stupid Naive Horuss thought he could live by himself,’ ‘Stupid Naive Horuss couldn’t even make it 2 weeks without giving up, what a loser’. You are a loser. It’s in your nature to be. Destined for great things your rear. You’re not destined for great things. You’re destined for nothing.

It’s what you are, and you’ve come to accept it.

You still haven’t looked at your phone since... Since the break-up. It has been 2 weeks since it happened. Since you decided to expatriate yourself from them. You are... curious. You wonder what they might think. You hate wondering that.

You are always set to be offline. Always. You sigh, before picking it up. Curiosity murdered the meow beast, after all.

canterandTrot, you have 612 unread messages.

Oh fiddlesticks.

You notice that most are from the public memo, but you also have quite a few Direct Messages come in over the past 2 weeks. You open the first-no, you can’t open that one. You open the second one.

AG: Horuss, where are you? Rufioh had told us all that you left in a huff, and we haven’t seen you since. Are you ok?

You ignore it. You’re going to ignore all of them. You don’t have read receipts on, anyway. You open some others.

AC: (=^. .^=) < HORUSS WHERE ARE MEW?  
AC: ヾ(=ﾟ･ﾟ=)ﾉ < MEW’VE GONE MISSING.  
AC: (=ｘェｘ=) < OH MEW’RE NOT HERE. OH WELL.

_Talk about caring moirail._

TC: :o?

Huh. You didn’t know he regained access to a phone.

AA: あなたは反応し過ぎています

TA: KURL0Z 8R0! WH3N U G37 7H15 T3LL ME 1F U 533N 7H3 K1KC455   
TA: 0H 5H17 WR0TN P3R550N  
TA: FUCK1NG DYL3X714

TA: 57H17 H0R553 R U 0K  
TA: G07 70L3D Y0U FUKC1JF D154P34RD 0N U5 700  
TA: HZ???

CG: D9 y9u kn9w h9w triggering it is t9 feign running away when there are pe9ple wh9 are in w9rse situati9ns and cann9t run away? It is extremely...

You are not reading that. Nope.

GA: Ho+russ, we’re all wo+rried. Please tell us where yo+u are.

GC: hz, wh4tz th3 h4pz? wh3r3 you 4t?  
GC: horz? you th3r3?

CC: i dont glubbin care aboat you but ya aint fishappearing on me, basshole. #i aint letting no guppy leave #talk aboat bad leadership

CA: ill givwe you 10 bucks to tell me wvhere you are.

You thought you blocked him. You block him again for measure. Sighing deeply, you open the one you don’t want to open.

AT: horuss, 1’m sorry...  
AT: where are you?  
AT: are you purposefully 1gnor1ng me or d1d you lose your phone aga1n?  
AT: 1 wouldn’t blame you 1f you were 1gnor1ng me...... 

AT: 1 told the memo... well... a summary of what happened...  
AT: and that 1 d1dn’t know where you ran to...  
AT: just that you ran.  
AT: you sa1d you wanted to say someth1ng, before. when you let me speak f1rst.  
AT: what was 1t?

AT: horuss, 1’m worr1ed. please don’t d1e.

You curl yourself up into a ball. The tears are coming back full force and you don’t have the energy to stop them. Why does he care so much? Why does he care _at all?_ Why are you falling into this trap again?

Why do you still love him?

You wipe your face and pluck up courage to type a reply, not even bothering with your quirk.

CT: I’m alive.  
CT: Don’t contact me again.  
CT: Tell the others this, too.  
AT: oh my god, are you ok?  
CT: I’m alive. That’s enough.  
AT: horuss...  
CT: What.  
AT: where are you?  
CT: My whereabouts are nothing of concern.  
CT: Why do you care, anyway?  
AT: well... we’re fr1ends, aren’t we?  
AT: desp1te, well, everyth1ng, 1 st1ll want to be your fr1end.  
AT: 1’m worr1ed...  
CT: Rufioh.  
CT: I.   
CT: I can’t do that. Not right now.  
AT: we can’t be fr1ends??  
CT: ...  
CT: I love you. I think I always will.  
CT: I can’t even think straight.  
CT: I need time. Space.   
CT: Maybe later, when more time has passed, when you will all have forgotten about me, I’ll be okay.   
CT: Just.   
CT: Not right now.  
AT: ...  
AT: 1 don’t th1nk people w1ll forget about you.  
CT: They will.  
CT: I know they will.  
CT: I’ve come to accept this.  
CT: Everything will be fine, you are all better off without me.  
AT: ...  
AT: please don’t d1e.  
CT: I cannot promise that. However, I can say I won’t go into death willingly.  
CT: Is that enough?  
AT: ...  
AT: 1 guess.  
AT: can 1 ask what you wanted to say, before you ran off?  
CT: ...  
CT: I wished to know if you w001d attend a picnic with me.  
CT: That was all.  
AT: we... we can st1ll do that, 1f you want...  
CT: Maybe.  
CT: When you have all forgotten about me.  
CT: Then we can.  
CT: Right now, however, I. I can’t.   
CT: I’m sorry.  
AT: horuss?

You throw your phone against a wall. It doesn’t smash because of the case it is in, however it was very refreshing to do. You place your head into your knees.

You can’t do this. Not anymore.

Maybe... maybe you needed this. Needed a hard reset like this.

You let Void consume you.

**Author's Note:**

> EDIT 14-01-18: Made some edits.


End file.
